From Busy to Purposeful: How to Reclaim Your Time as a CEO
The Illusion of Busyness
Tanya Dalton succinctly captures how societal conditioning often drives us to equate our value with the number of tasks we accomplish. In the podcat, she asks us to reflect on those moments when we feel uneasy during rare periods of free time, urging us to consider why we feel the need to constantly be doing something. This mindset is particularly prevalent among women and leaders who feel the pressure to do more than everyone else. It’s as if the longer the to-do list, the more successful we must be, yet this approach often leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled despite endless activity.
Breaking the Cycle of Guilt
Understanding why we default to busyness is the first step, but Tanya offers deeper guidance on how to break this cycle. She asks a pivotal question: "Busy doing what?" Many of us are caught in activities that don’t contribute meaningfully to our goals or overall happiness. Tanya advises shifting our perspective: your business is not the end goal but the vehicle that gets you to the life you truly want. Being strategic about what you want your business to achieve can help realign your daily activities with your long-term vision, reducing the guilt and anxiety that comes with constant busyness.
The Importance of Clarity
In her discussion with Amy, Tanya underscores the importance of clarity. Without a clear vision of what we desire, it’s easy to get swayed by external expectations and shiny metrics that often have little to do with what we truly want. This clarity extends to understanding the life we aspire to outside of our business goals. Our personal and professional lives should not be relegated to the nooks and crannies left over by our work. Instead, we need to ensure our business strategies are in service of our overarching life goals.
Strategic Goal Setting and Alignment
Both Tanya and Amy stress the necessity of setting goals that genuinely reflect personal aspirations rather than mimicking competitors or societal standards. Goals like revenue targets, acquisition benchmarks, or even the number of employees must serve a larger purpose aligned with your personal life. Tanya uses the metaphor of a cathedral to emphasize long-term, legacy-oriented thinking. Cathedrals took centuries to build and were designed to stand the test of time. Likewise, our goals should contribute to a lasting impact that aligns with our life’s mission.
Saying No to Say Yes
One of the most liberating aspects of embracing intentional leadership is the power to say no. By choosing to miss out on opportunities that do not align with your strategic vision, you create space for more meaningful pursuits. Tanya shares her own experience of leaving social media after realizing that it contributed little to her core business objectives. This step not only freed up time but also allowed her to focus on areas that directly impact her business's success and personal fulfillment.
Financial Metrics vs. True Success
Another pivotal theme is understanding the difference between vanity metrics and meaningful success. Revenue numbers can be dazzling, but they often don't tell the full story. Tanya highlights that smaller businesses can sometimes be more profitable than larger ones with astronomical valuations but significant financial strain. Top-line revenue might look impressive on social media, but it doesn’t necessarily translate to personal wealth or business sustainability. CEOs need to look beyond these surface metrics to understand their true financial health and success.
Actions Toward Intentional Leadership
To embrace intentional leadership, begin by cultivating clarity about your ultimate life goals. Align your business strategy to serve this vision rather than allowing external pressures and vanity metrics to drive your decisions. Learn to say no to opportunities that don’t align with your long-term goals, and continually reassess where your time and resources are best invested.
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Transcript for Episode 337. Living a Life on Purpose
Amy [00:00:02]:
Are you busy being busy? It's a badge that so many of us wear day in and day out. But, friend, if you are here listening to this podcast today, we're here to tell you there's another way. There is another way that we can break this cycle that we are stuck in of being busy and truly live a life on purpose. Today's guest, Tanya Dalton, is an author. She's a speaker, she's a CEO. She is just a phenomenal woman that helps other women step confidently into intentional leadership so that they can live a life on purpose.
Amy [00:01:09]:
So let's dig into this. Let's dig right in the idea of being busy. Why? Why are we always stuck in the hustle and grind of being busy?
Tanya [00:01:27]:
Yeah, I think it's a good question because I feel like we're so conditioned for it. Have you ever had, like, five minutes to yourself and you feel slightly unsettled? Like, whoa, what's wrong? Like, something's not right here. I've done the things I need to do. I've got five minutes. That feeling is very real because we've been conditioned to really feel like we're earning our value from the doing. And I think, especially for women, we fall in this trap of feeling like we need to do, do, do for everybody else. And you add in that CEO hat on top of that, there's this whole other layer of I need to do more than my team. I need to make sure I'm modeling what hard work looks like, and we end up taking this whole extra load on ourselves.
Tanya [00:02:12]:
And we're very proud of being busy, right? I mean, when people say to us, how are you? How many times do you answer, busy? Busy is not an emotion. It's not happy, sad, angry, disappointed, joyful. It's not any of those things. It just means you are chasing your tail, running around, doing a thousand things. And I know for me, I spent a long time really shining up my badge of busyen, really being proud of how long my to do list was and how many things I said yes, to then I was falling into bed at night and I was feeling unsuccessful. I would think, oh, why didn't I get more done? Even though I was busy all day long? So it's this really interesting push and pull of. We're running around being busy, but yet we never feel like we've done enough. And it's no surprise that we all feel dissatisfied with that.
Amy [00:03:07]:
Yeah. Oh, my gosh, you are speaking to so many of us because, yeah, I too have been there. And I really feel like you hit the nail on the head that we've been conditioned to think this way. We've been conditioned to view this as normal, to wear busy as a badge of honor, that we can do all of the things. Look at me. This makes me feel important. I feel needed. Because you're exactly right.
Amy [00:03:30]:
When we get the chance to sit, when we have that extra time, we don't know what to do with ourselves. It feels awkward. It can feel very awkward. Yes. The guilt.
Tanya [00:03:41]:
Feel guilty about that. Who am I to be sitting down when there's so many things to be done? Right?
Amy [00:03:46]:
Right. Exactly. So how do we even start to break that pattern of guilt? How do we release this feeling that so many of us face day in and day out?
Tanya [00:04:00]:
Yeah. Well, this is such a great question. Because it is, because it's so just pervasive in our society. We set that as an expectation. So when we have those few minutes, we feel guilty, we feel a little bit anxious. Right. But the truth is, the question that we have to ask ourselves is busy doing what? What are we busy doing? Are we really doing work that matters, that drives us forward towards the life that we want? And here's the truth. Your business is not the goal.
Tanya [00:04:32]:
Your business is the vehicle to get you to the life you want. And I think as CEO's, oftentimes we mix up those two, we get so caught up in hitting these goals, this revenue goal or this acquisition goal or whatever it is, we lose sight of the life that we really want, which is, for most of us, why we started the business in the first place. Right. The personal life just kind of goes out the window and we're cramming in to those nooks and crannies, the personal life, the relationships, the things that truly matter. This is why I think it's so important to be strategic with your business, to be very clear about what you want your business to do for you. So often we feel like we're running, you know, we're running in our business and we need to be really clear on where we want to go. What do you want in the next five to ten years? Do you want to scale this to, like, some kind of multi, multi, multi millionaire status? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Maybe you want to sell in a couple of years.
Tanya [00:05:34]:
Maybe. Maybe you want to just get to a certain point and coast. That's all. Okay. And I think that that's. That's a conversation we don't have often enough in business that you don't have to constantly be growing. It's really being clear on what you desire, that life that you're looking for. And then, okay, that's what I'm going towards.
Tanya [00:05:55]:
Then everything you do is strategic, and you make those decisions based off of that. That place you want to get to. I call that your cathedral, the cathedral that you're moving towards.
Amy [00:06:04]:
Yes, I I agree 1000%. I mean, you are speaking my love language right here. Like, this is the sea of the CEO method. We have to have that clarity, because if we don't have the clarity as to what do we actually desire, we're just chasing shiny objects. We're living our life for everyone but ourselves. And the reality is, we don't know where that finish line is. We don't know how long we have on this earth. And, yes, it's morbid, but that's reality.
Amy [00:06:35]:
And when we're working 24/7 we're missing out on this beautiful life around us that we get to choose. And I think a lot of times, we forget that we have the choice. And when we're so crystal clear on what it is that we want, we can then align our actions with our goals, and then we have that direction that acts like our north star.
Tanya [00:07:04]:
Exactly. Exactly. Well, and this is the thing is, so often we're setting goals based off what everybody else is doing. We look over here and we see this woman running a business, and we're like, oh, I need to be doing more of that. Or you see somebody in your same industry, right, a competitor, and you're like, we need to be doing more of that. And then all of a sudden, you're just tacking on these extra things to your business that aren't really aligned with what you desire or what you want and really with the mission of your businesses. The why behind what you do, why you do what you do is so important. So understanding that being really clear on where you want to go, that helps filter out a lot of those options that we're bombarded with.
Tanya [00:07:46]:
We feel like more choices should make us happier. It should be like, oh, it's so much easier with so many choices. We get caught in that paradox of choice. Too many choices, too many options. We just end up taking them all on. And this is one of the reasons why our plate gets overloaded. We're saying yes to all these opportunities, even the ones that aren't ours, right. Even the ones that don't truly align with what we desire.
Tanya [00:08:11]:
So it is taking a break, stopping, stepping back. I like to call it getting the forest view. I think so often we're in the thick of it, so all we can see are the trees. Our job as a CEO is to go up and out and take a look at the forest and go, okay, where is it we want to go? How do we want to get out of this? And then we can translate that to our team. And then everybody is on board. Everybody understands the direction, right? But if you're scattered and going in 5 million directions, it's no surprise that, a, you are lost, but then, b, that your team is lost and you're feeling frustrated because they're not really doing work that matters, because they're confused on the direction. So it's kind of twofold there.
Amy [00:08:53]:
Yeah, it really is. That's a great way that you described it, because so often we're spending so much time looking at what everyone else is doing that we forget to focus back inwards and realize that, yes, all of those strategies out there, they work. But what is aligned with you? And that's really important. And I think that's why it's so important to get clear as to why. Why are you doing this? Because then once you know why, you can ask yourself, am I getting closer? Am I getting farther away? Why am I doing this? You know, I just have recently had a situation where I turned down the opportunity to be on a very large podcast in my past career. Like, I would have been like, oh, my gosh, yes, yes, yes.
Tanya [00:09:37]:
I.
Amy [00:09:38]:
But the audience, those aren't my people. That would not serve them, and it would not serve me. There's not that mutual benefit. But in saying, no, we're opening up the space and the time for other opportunities, and we miss that because we're constantly in reactive mode saying, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That we're not staying in alignment.
Tanya [00:10:02]:
Yeah. And then we're saying, why? Why? Why am I doing this?
Amy [00:10:06]:
Exactly.
Tanya [00:10:07]:
But we do. We say yes. Cause it feels so good in the moment, it feels fantastic. And then 10 seconds later, we're like, why did I say yes to that?
Amy [00:10:16]:
Yay.
Tanya [00:10:17]:
It was definitely something I go into in my first book, the Joy of missing out, because there is a lot of joy in choosing to miss out, in saying no, in really being clear. Because truthfully, if you're real big cathedral, so this is like what you want to do. And I call it a cathedral because it's based off cathedral thinking, which is, you know, back in the, you know, eleven hundreds, the, the twelve hundreds, the city planners, the architects, the builders got together to build these beautiful cathedrals, built to stand the test of time. Those cathedrals took hundreds of years to build. And so it wasn't something that was going to be done in a week. It didn't have that immediate gratification, that Amazon prime feeling, right. Of immediate gratification. It was the legacy work.
Tanya [00:11:01]:
And that's what we're looking for when we're being strategic, is what's the legacy? What's my legacy with this business? If you are wanting to grow the business so you can sell it, let's say in five to ten years, your goals are going to be vastly different than somebody else's who wants to grow it and then kind of plateau and stay at a stable rate for a couple of years, maybe, or maybe long term, because they're not as into wanting to grow the business. They're more into the lifestyle that entrepreneurship brings. Your goals are going to be very different. If you're wanting to scale and become something like, you know, Amazon or a big company, your goals are going to be vastly different. So when we have that clarity, it gives us the permission to say no. This doesn't fit at all. And when we say no, we're saying yes to other things. Right? We're saying yes to the things that truly will drive us to the place that we desire.
Tanya [00:11:55]:
And that's really what it's all about. That's why I say your business is the vehicle for the life. It's not the goal. We get so caught up and we get really myopic in our thinking. And all of our goals, all of our focus is on hitting these big vanity metrics with our business. It might be Instagram followers, it might be revenue. That's another vanity metric, right? It might be in the number of team members that you have, because these are all things that look really good on social media. But is that really what's going to serve you? Is that really what you desire and want? So it is that first c that you were talking about for your CEO, the clarity is so important.
Tanya [00:12:33]:
It does. It drives everything.
Amy [00:12:34]:
Yeah, you're absolutely right. It's so easy to base our worth off of these metrics, because in business, yes, it's so important to leverage your data to drive decisions. I preach this all day long, but it needs to be in alignment. And you are the one in the driver's seat. So focusing on all these shiny metrics and basing your worth off of them, it's going to end us up in a downward spiral very, very quickly.
Tanya [00:13:05]:
But when you realize burnout, burnout, burnout. Right, because we're just wearing ourselves out, right. Yeah. And we do. We get caught up. I know people who run $500,000 businesses who bring home a lot more than other people I know who are running 910 million dollars companies because there's the way they've set their business up, it works better, it's more streamlined, the profit margins are better. So just because, that's why I say revenue a lot of times is a vanity metric. It may look fantastic that you're running an $8 million company, but at the end of the day, if your take home is, if your profit is below 10%, you're not really bringing home more, you're just wearing yourself out more.
Tanya [00:13:49]:
Right. So that's why I say, too, like, maybe your goal is just to hit 500,000 or 250,000. You don't have to be a million dollar business to be a success. I think that's one of the things that people get really caught up in, is the seven figure business and how good that looks. Again, is that what you desire? Is that what you want? Do you want to be managing team? Because when you get to those sizes, it does mean more team, and more team does mean more headaches. It means more of a monthly burn. And here's the truth that people won't talk about. The bigger your team is, the more money you're spending every month.
Tanya [00:14:26]:
Right? That's your monthly burn rate of how much money. I have to make this much money just to hit, you know, dead even. And that starts driving your decisions, that starts making decisions for you, because you think, oh, my gosh, my burn rate is $50,000 a month. We're going to go ahead and offer up these extra things even when they're not in alignment, because I need that cash inflow. So it is. Do you want a big team? Do you want a smaller team? Do you, what is it you desire? Get really, really clear on that and let that help make those other decisions for you.
Amy [00:14:56]:
Thank you. Yes. That is something that we never hear about. Social media bombards us day in and day out with all these glamorous numbers. I made this much. I made that much. But we're not getting the full picture. And it's very easy to then get in our heads, get in our own way.
Amy [00:15:16]:
But exactly as you said, new level, new devil, you know, it's one of those things that in order to grow, in order to scale, it takes different resources and different capacities and different investments. And so, yes, that break even point goes higher and higher and higher. And we're forgetting that. We're forgetting about all the things that are going into the back end. Maybe these companies that are having these huge launches, maybe their ad spend is enormous. We're not getting the full picture. And so this income based marketing that is so flashy, so glamorous, it's not telling the whole story.
Tanya [00:15:54]:
Right. Show me your paycheck. That's. That's more impressive. How much are you taking? What's your owner's draw look like? Right? And we look at these companies, and this is one of the things that drives me crazy right now in the news is all the valuations, the valuations of different companies. Valuations don't mean anything. You look at a company like Casper or Uber, and they're everywhere, and you think of them as being a huge success. Don't make any profit.
Tanya [00:16:21]:
I don't think any of either of those have yet to turn a profit in all the years they've been in business. Everything is about vanity and getting in more investors to eventually, their goal is to win that industry. Right. So they're willing to take a loss on the long term, which is not feasible for us as small business owners. But that's what you have to be clear on, is, what's the take home? Just because someone's making, you know, $10 million in their company, they may be spending $20 million, so they may be in the hole. So that number doesn't really mean anything.
Amy [00:16:52]:
Yeah.
Tanya [00:16:53]:
So letting go of some of those vanity metrics, and we use those a lot of times as false gods, right. We look at them, we think, oh, that person has all these followers. They're so successful. Are those followers actually turning into clients? Are they paying for anything? Because otherwise, it's just a time suck. And I know for me, I left social media in 2021, January 1 of 2021, because I did take a look at the numbers, and I was like, okay, it looks good. You know, we have tens of thousands of followers. We have lots of likes. But how many of these people are actually customers and clients? So when I went in and I took a look at how people were finding us and how they were converting into being paying customers and clients wasn't on social media, and I realized I was spending this lion's share of time for this tiny amount of revenue it was bringing in, and I could have just gotten rid of that task altogether, spent time on the tasks that were driving the revenue.
Tanya [00:17:51]:
So that's one of the things, too, that helps give you that clarity, is be really, really clear not only on where you want to go, but who is it you want to work with and where are they? Where are they turning into your clients? Stop trying to be everywhere and focus in on where you want to be and where that client is. Usually that aligns. Quite frankly, if it's an ideal avatar, they are where you want to be anyways. So getting some clarity on that also takes things off your plate, because that's the other thing that we're told. Well, if you want to be a successful business, you got to be on all these social media channels, and you need to constantly be pumping out content. You have to have a blog and a podcast, and it's no surprise that we're exhausted. Get really, really clear on where you want to go and who you want to have with you as your clients on that journey. And that helps eliminate a lot of those options out there.
Tanya [00:18:44]:
So you can get some, you can make better choices and make better decisions.
Amy [00:18:48]:
Yeah. It all starts with clarity. When you are so clear as to what it is that you want, then you can make it happen. You can make the choice to live your life on purpose, fulfill the purpose that feels good to you, align your actions, align your behaviors with the vision that you're trying to accomplish. It's possible. Tanya is absolutely proof that it is possible that you can build a business without devoting hours and hours of time in this beautiful life on social media. But it requires you to dig deep, get clear, and live that life on purpose. Tanya, this was such an amazing conversation.
Amy [00:19:41]:
I absolutely love your book on purpose. And you have your other one, the joy of missing out. Where can we get into your world? How can we learn more about you?
Tanya [00:19:51]:
Yeah, well, you can go to tanyadalton.com. that's kind of a great place to find me. Wherever you're listening to this podcast right now, you can do a search for my name, Tanya Dalton, or the name of my podcast is the intentional advantage. I have a substat called not rocket science. You can get to all of that, though, by going to tanyadalton.com dot perfect.
Amy [00:20:12]:
Make sure to check that out. Her resources are truly incredible. I recommend her book so highly, so much so that it's even included in the back of the CEO method book. So check it out. Tanya, thank you so much for being a difference maker in my life.
Tanya [00:20:30]:
Well, thank you. That means a lot, because a lot of times, you know how it is when you're writing a book, you feel like, I hope people read it. So it means a lot when people read it, and it resonates with them and it gives them action steps. So thank you so much for that. And thanks for having me on the show.
Amy [00:20:44]:
Absolutely. And until next time, cheers to making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire. Bye.
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