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Embracing Failure: The Entrepreneur's Secret Weapon
Navigating Failure to Thrive in Business
All too often, we find ourselves looking at the success stories of others on social media and, inevitably, comparing our journey to theirs. As entrepreneurs, this behavior can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure when our own ventures don't immediately hit those 10k months or 100k annual revenues. But as today's guest, Sheley Brien, so eloquently discusses in our podcast episode, failure is not the end—it's a necessary step on the path to true success.
The Reality of Failure
"Failure happens," says Amy, the host of The Motivated CEO Podcast. "It’s going to happen to every single person along the journey." This reality check is essential because it reminds us that failure is an unavoidable aspect of the entrepreneurial experience. It’s not about if you'll fail; it's about what you do when you do. Sheley Brien, VP of Brien Contracting and host of The More Action Podcast, emphasizes that failure is an opportunity for growth and learning. It's about seeing failure not as an endpoint, but as a stepping stone.
Comparing Yourself Only Leads to Trouble
One of the first lessons Sheley shares is the importance of avoiding comparisons to others. “The only person that we should ever compare ourselves against is who we were yesterday,” Sheley asserts. The problem with comparing ourselves to others is that social media offers only a highlight reel, completely out of context. When you see someone celebrating massive revenue numbers, you don't see the stress, the failures, and the nights of no sleep it took to get there. Your journey is unique, and your definition of success should be personal and intentional.
Defining Your Own Success
Sheley makes a poignant point when she advises, "What is your success? Because mine looks very different than yours, Amy." Herein lies another critical aspect of entrepreneurship—knowing what success looks like for you. Is it financial freedom? Is it creating memories with your kids? Your metrics for success will change and evolve as you grow, just as your business will. Being clear on your goals and what you truly want to achieve helps you navigate through your failures with direction and purpose.
Shelley's Journey Through Failure
Shelley shares an impactful story about opening a new franchise restaurant after a successful 18-year career in corporate America. Despite high revenue numbers, costs were double what they should have been due to fraud committed by the franchisor. "At eleven months, we had done the projections, and it was going to be like six years before I even made $35,000," Sheley notes. This devastating loss forced her to shut down the business, resulting in financial loss and the emotional toll of letting go of her team.
The Power of Taking Action
Surrounded by the despair of what felt like monumental failure, Sheley found salvation in small actions. She picked up a book—"Millionaire Mornings by Hal Elrod"—which helped her to start taking incremental daily steps toward recovery. These small actions built back her confidence, and she started moving forward again, drawing strength from past successes and minor victories.
"Every successful entrepreneur has failed, but it's the willingness to fail that creates opportunities for success," says Amy. Sheley agrees, highlighting how taking those small steps each day led her out of her darkest period.
Key Takeaways: Consistency and Resilience
The conversation underscores two critical elements for any entrepreneur: consistency and resilience. Keeping promises to yourself builds trust within, providing the momentum to keep going. Failure, as Sheley and Amy discuss, is data—valuable information that informs better decisions.
If you're in a challenging season of entrepreneurship, remember to keep going. Get into action, learn from each experience, and remain consistent. Success doesn’t come from avoiding failure; it comes from embracing it, learning from it, and using it to fuel your journey forward.
Final Thoughts
We hope Sheley’s story has inspired you to see failure differently—as an essential part of your entrepreneurial journey. For more actionable insights and strategies, don't miss Shelley’s own podcast, "The More Action Podcast." You can also download her free guide, "Discover When It's Time to Pivot," linked in our show notes.
Until next time, cheers to making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire.
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Transcript for Episode 358. Using Failure to Fuel Your Business Growth with Sheley Brien
Amy [00:00:02]:
All too often, as business owners, we see everyone else's success on social media. And what happens is we start comparing our lack thereof success to everyone else around us. We feel like if we're not hitting the ten k months, if we're not hitting the hundred thousand dollar years, that we're doing something wrong. But the reality is we all have failures. We all have those times in our business when things just aren't going to plan and we consider it a failure. And in today's episode, we are going to unpack this topic that nobody's really talking about. And that is how to navigate failure in order to thrive as an entrepreneur. Because if you are here listening to this, I want you to know that failure happens.
Amy [00:00:54]:
It happens. It's going to happen to every single person along the journey. But let's learn how to embrace it and use it. And today's guest, Shelley Bryan, is a wife, a mother, VP of Brian contracting, and host of the more action podcast. She helps build businesses and strong relationships. And I am beyond the moon, excited to be diving into this very vulnerable topic. So, Shelley, first of all, thank you so much for being so open and willing to talk about something that we don't often hear about in the online space. And it's failure.
Sheley [00:01:37]:
Oh, my gosh. Well, first off, thank you so much for creating the space and inviting me to come in because your opening, I mean, I feel comfortable. So those tuning in right now, I always feel comfortable. I'm an open book. We're going to get down and I'm going to share some stuff that just hopefully shows you that it's okay, right? That it is okay to fail. And actually, those that fail, I feel like, are the most successful because you're doing the things that most won't. Right? And that's what I consider a real failure. So, Amy, thank you so much for having me on.
Sheley [00:02:11]:
I'm just super excited to talk about this topic.
Amy [00:02:14]:
Yes. And you hit the nail on the head. You know, you're doing the things that most people won't. And from the outside looking in, you know, people see successful entrepreneurs when they look at someone that has a podcast, when they look at someone that's doing all of these things online. And we're forgetting that at the end of the day, you and I, we're human. We're just like everyone listening. If you were listening to this, like, we're just like you, we're moms, we have kids. We're trying to figure it out as we go.
Amy [00:02:43]:
But you've really learned some valuable lessons along the way and have been willing to make failure your friend and learn from it. Can you share more about your journey from the inside? Looking out.
Sheley [00:02:58]:
It's so funny. And, gosh, what a great question. Because failure is something that we don't see, right? We see the highlight reel. Everyone talks about that. The highlight reel on social media, which. That's what everyone talks about, right? Meanwhile, behind the scenes, they're. They're crushed. They're feeling horrible, right? So the first thing is.
Sheley [00:03:17]:
Is like that. You talked about that comparison. The only person that we should ever, and I hate the word should, but the only person to compare ourselves against is who we were yesterday. That is it. Only ourselves. You can see everybody out there, but you don't know what's going on in their business. So they might be talking about all this great stuff, and realistically, they're not. They don't have any profit.
Sheley [00:03:43]:
So that's great. That's great. Good for you. You hit a million dollars. Good for you. I'm glad you told us all, but you have nothing to show for it. Right? I don't know that. That success.
Sheley [00:03:53]:
And that's kind of my other thing that I love talking about with failure is, what is your success? Because mine looks very different than yours, Amy. Right? Like money, okay? Financial freedom. Okay. But there's so many other things. And it's important to check back with yourself often what success looks like. Cause as you evolve, your priority and your idea of success will evolve, too. So failure. I mean, when it comes to.
Sheley [00:04:25]:
I show horses competitively. You talk about that like you have another animal that has a mind of its own. You fail all the time. You know, when it comes to businesses, my career, I was in corporate. I did all of these things. I think when it comes to failure is what I have learned now is that I kept it very private. I really did. I was scared.
Sheley [00:04:49]:
I was scared to tell everybody. I was scared to talk about it, and so I kept it really private. I never beat myself up, though. I just was like, that sucked. That hurt. Let me move on, right? Let me go try the next thing and apply it. Now. I find the more I talk about my failures, people are like, oh, my God, that happened to you, too? And I'm like, yes.
Sheley [00:05:11]:
Holy cow. How did we survive this? It's one of those things. I used to do it in private. Now we got to talk about it. It is like you said, failure is an opportunity to learn something and apply it to the next part of your season, your journey. What it is that you're doing.
Amy [00:05:29]:
Yes. I want to go back and highlight something you said at the very beginning. You know, we really shouldn't be comparing ourselves. And again, I agree. I hate the word should, but this is one of those exceptions to the rule. The only person that we should be comparing ourselves to is a past version of ourselves, because it's really not a fair comparison. Because you're right. We're comparing ourselves that are taken completely out of context.
Amy [00:05:54]:
Especially there's so much of this that goes on in the online space. You know, we see all these. These huge launches, all these things other people are doing, and we forget then what our goals actually are. What does success look like to us? Because that is one of the very core foundational elements as a business owner that you need to take the time to do is unpack. What does success look like to you? It doesn't matter what your goals are. You can reverse engineer everything, but you have to be so clear on what is that to you, not everyone else, because at the end of the day, it's you versus you.
Sheley [00:06:35]:
It's 100%. 100%. And I can go back to, you know, when I started in. In my career, in my professional career, this was 22 years ago. And when I first got on, you know, I was in the finance industry, and for me, it was just being on the top of the leaderboard. So I was in the finance industry. There's a lot of comparison going on, and it was just being on the top of the leaderboard. Now I can say 22 years later, you know what success is to me? Getting able to create memories with my kids abroad, that is my success.
Sheley [00:07:12]:
So the way that we're building our construction company right now is very different than our previous construction company. When we could not leave, we could not step away. So the systems, the processes, everything that we are doing is towards that goal. And I. I just shared with you offline before we got in here, like, scheduling and all of that, it changes. What worked for me previously does not work for me now. I'm back to the drawing board. I'm trying out new things.
Sheley [00:07:37]:
I'm failing daily to figure out very quickly what didn't work. Okay, that didn't work. All right, cool. Let's. It's like getting another note. If you're tuning into this show here with Amy, I know that you are doing ambitious things. You are learning how to sell, maybe, you know, even elevating your sales skills. The best thing about sales is getting good at no, get through all the nos to get to the yes.
Sheley [00:08:07]:
The more like I. When someone. When I fail, I'm like, cool, great. Don't know that that didn't work. I'm not gonna do that again. Move on. You get a no and a sale. All right.
Sheley [00:08:16]:
I know. One step closer to my yes. Thank you. Goodbye. So it's like changing your overall idea of what a failure is. And that's what I think it's very important, the term failure. You know, if you're in corporate America, probably going to call it a challenge or a setback or maybe a speed bump, you can call it what you want, but honestly, just for me, you can tell it's just. Let's call it what it is, spade a spade.
Sheley [00:08:46]:
It's fail. Okay. I'm not a failure. What I did failed. That is an important distinction. When you are labeling things or activities or actions that you are taking, that.
Amy [00:08:59]:
Right there is so, so important. Rewind this and listen to that again. Because what happens is we're conditioned to be afraid of failure, and we make it mean something about us. That mindset shift that you just presented, Shelley, is huge. It's absolutely huge. And I had. I come from a career where failure was not an option. I worked in healthcare.
Amy [00:09:25]:
You had lives on the line. You were conditioned you could not fail. And it was very easy to internalize that there were repercussions if there were mistakes made. So I think it's very, very critical now, as an entrepreneur, that we take the time to check in and realize that these thoughts are not necessarily facts. That failure, quote, unquote, it's just information. It's data. It's telling us what doesn't work. And when we have that information, that is powerful, because you're absolutely right.
Amy [00:10:07]:
No is just next opportunity. And just because we're hearing the word no is not a personal rejection. It's like if a friend comes up and offers you a stick of gum and you say no, okay? You're not rejected. You don't even think about it. It's the same thing with our businesses. It's just information. It's not the right fit for them right now. And honestly, I would rather get a no than get ghosted, than be left hanging.
Amy [00:10:38]:
And it gives me data as to, okay, well, what can I do to improve my systems and processes? And speaking of systems and processes, you mentioned, too, this is something you're going through right now. You're evolving. And as we go through business life, you know, our. Everything happening around us, we are constantly evolving. You know, my kids, the way I run my business now is completely different than when I. When they were toddlers, when they were at home, when they needed me constantly. Now it's like, oh, this is kind of nice. So I have to really keep myself on track.
Amy [00:11:13]:
But again, I had to realize, okay, wait. The same old, same old wasn't working. I had to fail in order to get that information and propel myself forward. Would you be willing to share a specific example of a time that you failed that really helped catapult your growth, helped you grow as an entrepreneur?
Sheley [00:11:38]:
I mean, one, probably the. The biggest financial fail, I'll call it that, right. That I had was, gosh, I mean, there's so many. I'm like, how many? Which one? How much time do we have on the show? Like, I could share so many. And if you're in this space right now, I'm going to share my toughest one, because we're talking about failure. Like, oh, it's so easy. Just move on.
Amy [00:12:03]:
Right?
Sheley [00:12:04]:
I've practiced this skill, okay? So, like, the more reps you put in, the easier it becomes. So when I fail now, I don't take it personally. I move on. Way back in the day, of course I took it personally. Of course it hurt. Of course I was, like, devastated and slightly depressed. Like, all of these emotions happen, but just like anything, the more you do it, the more reps in, the easier it becomes. So the toughest financial fail I had, this was after nearly 18 year corporate career, highly successful, held multiple positions in a great industry.
Sheley [00:12:39]:
I was actually, believe it or not, in the pharmaceutical industry. Right. So tie on the medical for you. And I thought I was finally done with corporate America. I don't know if anyone tuning in has ever been there, but I was finally done, and I thought, I've never owned a restaurant. Let me buy a new franchise and open a restaurant. I have zero experience doing this. Right.
Sheley [00:12:59]:
Well, I mean, I learned so much from. I mean, we built the space, obviously, with our business, but, like, we built the space. I built a team. I created a culture that I always wanted and desired in corporate America, but we could never have. Right? Because there was too much red tape. I was able to do all of these things to only find out 30 days after opening. The numbers weren't lining out. And this franchise, I was the first one.
Sheley [00:13:29]:
It was a brand new franchise out of southern California that I brought to Scottsdale. I loved it in southern California. I knew it would thrive here. And when we bought in, I mean, this was significant. The build out, everything. 30 days were open, and we're financially, like, it's doing well. The numbers aren't working out. My cost of goods and my labor are double what? The franchise.
Sheley [00:13:52]:
Right. So a franchise you're buying into a business that is already, like, created, basically. So you have these numbers kind of as, like, a threshold for you to live up to. The numbers were double. Meanwhile, our revenue was skyrocketing. And I'm like, this isn't good. This is not a good sign. So I did what I do, grind it out, learn, created great partnerships, grew the business as much as I could.
Sheley [00:14:16]:
And no matter what we did, the labor and the cost of goods would not budge. Well, by this time, some other franchises had opened up. Similar things happened. And what happened was the franchisor actually committed fraud and misrepresentation in all the documents that I bought into. Okay, so at eleven months, we had done the projections. It was going to be like six years before I even made, like, $35,000. And I'm like, we're done. I said we're done to seven figures because I shut it down and all of my investment into it, I lost.
Sheley [00:14:56]:
So not only did I lose all of my investment, I had to let go overnight of my team that I had created that culture that I created of the two things, financial and the culture in my team. The team letting go of my team put me into a state of depression because I was like, I let them down. I failed, like, because I failed someone else. It wasn't just Shelly Bryan failing. It was. I failed them. And it hurts them and their income. Great.
Sheley [00:15:27]:
They. They all found great jobs after they were fine. But, like, I took it really personally, and it put me into a really hard place. Then we had to go through all the financials to be able to move out of it and. And do all of that. And it's 2020. So all of that happened all at once. And I've never been a stay at home mom.
Sheley [00:15:45]:
Immediately, I'm a stay at home mom. After shutting that down, after losing all that money, it was rough. It was rough. And that failure is the longest one that I kind of stayed in that period of inaction. I was. I was stalled out. I didn't know what to do. I didn't trust myself anymore.
Sheley [00:16:02]:
I was just in this pit of despair in this valley I couldn't see out of. And one morning, I remember, you know, as moms, right, I'm still being there for my family. I'm still. I'm still doing it inside. I'm dying, right? So this is, like, the behind the scenes of social media. I'm dying, and I keep moving forward. And one day, all I did was pick up a book. I picked up a book because I needed to do something different.
Sheley [00:16:29]:
And I knew that the position that I was in right now, and of course, the world was shut down, right, like all of. All of this, I needed to do something, and I picked up a book. So remember the book? It was called Millionaire Mornings by Hal Elrod. It's a great little book. And I just started taking small action every day. And when I kept words to myself based upon things I wanted to do, I all of a sudden got back a little confidence. I started talking better to myself. I started doing things that would the next day, set me up to a better position.
Sheley [00:17:02]:
So that failure, and I just gave you the cliff notes version as I could. There is so much more in that. But that one was one of my most devastating failures, and that was a big one because it did affect other people and obviously, like, our financial side of it and everything that we lost out of it. And it was hard right then, but taking those little increments of action is what got me out of it. And now, looking back, there were so many lessons in there that I am applying to our business right now, I cannot even tell you. It's incredible. And I'm telling everyone listening right now, when you take big risk like I did, I jumped into a business. I had no idea.
Sheley [00:17:42]:
Right. Something out of my control ultimately shut the business down, but it was still my business, my responsibility, but everything right now, you can't see it, but it will help you in the future. And just kind of having that blind faith of knowing that when you stay disciplined and you keep moving forward, every failure is just a great way to learn how to apply something new in your future.
Amy [00:18:08]:
Absolutely. Oh, my goodness. Thank you, first of all, so much for being so open and sharing that, because your story is literally going to help someone navigate a challenging time that they're going through right now, because we all have them. This is the reality of entrepreneurship that we don't hear about. But you're absolutely right. The more reps you put in, the more you go through things like this, the more challenges you face. It does get easier. And that's not to say it's hard.
Amy [00:18:40]:
It's hard as you know what, when you are in the thick of it and going through it. But it really sounds like that pivotal moment where things started to change was when you got into action. Why do you think that getting into action was that moment to totally turn the tables around for you to be the start of where you are today.
Sheley [00:19:03]:
You know, what a great question and just picking out little things is, it's a choice. We all have choices. And I know that sometimes choices are hard for certain people. Right? Like, I get it. I have been there, too. It's not always easy, but you still have a choice. And so I had already kind of been strengthening my muscles since I was a child of failure. Like I said, I've been riding horses since I was five, and so I have failed a lot.
Sheley [00:19:34]:
And I think this is why both of our kids do sports. Like go fit, like go, like, go fail practice, because you're going to do it a lot as an adult. And I just knew it was like, let me. What? I had to look through my past and be like, what did I do previously? You fall off the horse, what do they do? They put you right back on. Right. And you just keep going forward. You fall off again, you get back on. And so it was taking those small steps every day and remembering what I've already overcome.
Sheley [00:20:07]:
I already had an 18 year, highly successful career, so I could go back on that and be like, where's some proof that I could do this again? Oh, I remember that. I am. I am, you know, I can do this. I am awesome, you know, and be able to kind of keep going forward. And some days are better than others. But the thing is, is like, if you hold the word to yourself, if you made a promise to yourself and you hold it to yourself, you have no idea what you're capable of. That, I think, is the most important thing when it comes to entrepreneurship, business ownership, being a leader. You know, we're building a big team here in our construction company, and it's just showcase what you are capable of and just stay consistent even on the days you don't want to.
Amy [00:20:59]:
Yeah. That discipline is so huge, so huge. Keeping those promises to ourself, because it all boils down to what you said, it's a choice. And we forget that we have a choice every single day. But every successful, quote, unquote successful entrepreneur out there, if you start to look at their, their journeys, their lives, we've all had failures. But it's that willingness to fail that creates so many beautiful opportunities for success. Although what happens is we're so focused on how things aren't working out that we're blind to all of the amazing opportunity right in front of us, all of the lessons we learned, all of the experience that we have. Just because you quote unquote failed.
Amy [00:21:52]:
That doesn't just vanish. No. You are wildly capable of achieving your goals. So if you are in a season of entrepreneurship right now where you're feeling like you're failing, I am here to tell you, keep going. Like Shelly said, get into action. It is consistency in keeping promises to yourself that will get the momentum going. Make sure you check out Shelley's podcast, the more action podcast. If you loved her as much as I did, go and listen.
Amy [00:22:28]:
She gives tangible, actionable strategies to help you move the needle forward. Get out of those points in your business where you feel stuck and to get into action. So go take a listen and you can also grab her freebie linked down in the show notes. Discover when it's time to pivot a free guide. Click the link in the show notes to grab yours. Shelly, thank you so much for taking time, to be so open and willing to share your story and lessons with us.
Sheley [00:23:03]:
Oh, Amy, thank you so much for having having me on and creating this conversation, creating space for this conversation. I hope that it absolutely connects with somebody and know. I just hope everyone knows just exactly how powerful they are.
Amy [00:23:16]:
Yes. And until next time, cheers to making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire.
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