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Unlocking Authenticity: The Key to Transcendent Leadership
What is Authenticity, Really?
Authenticity is not merely a catchphrase or a marketing gimmick. According to Michelle Rios, it’s a daily practice of aligning with the core of who you are. It’s about stripping away the layers of societal expectation and embracing your true self. Authenticity involves showing up as the highest version of yourself, rather than conforming to external standards. Your authentic self is your superpower – a unique blend of qualities that only you possess. When you tap into this, you vibrate at a higher energy level, attracting people and opportunities that resonate with your true essence.
The Role of Energy and Vibration
One of the eye-opening revelations in the podcast was the notion of energy and vibration. Despite it sounding a bit “woo-woo,” Amy emphasized that the concept has scientific backing. Michelle explained that everything is energy, including ourselves. Our authenticity carries a specific frequency that others can intuitively sense. High-energy interactions can inspire and uplift, while low-energy, inauthentic interactions can drain and repel. As leaders and business owners, showing up authentically can attract clients, partners, and opportunities that align with your values and mission.
Authenticity as a Daily Practice
Michelle stressed the importance of practicing authenticity daily, comparing it to working out or maintaining a healthy diet. Leaders often fall into the trap of overcommitting and stretching themselves too thin, leading to inauthentic actions driven by obligation rather than genuine intent. Michelle recounted her own experiences in corporate America and how she learned the hard way that authenticity requires saying “no” to things that drain your energy and saying “yes” to activities and commitments that nourish your true self.
Steps to Cultivating Authenticity
Introspection:
Michelle explained that carving out time for introspection is fundamental. Whether it’s through meditation, a walk in nature, or quiet time with a cup of tea, regular introspection helps tune out external noise and listen to your inner voice. Ask yourself questions like, “What do I want?” and “How am I showing up?” Honest answers to these questions can provide clarity and direction.
Recognize Your Inherent Worth:
Many entrepreneurs seek validation through external accomplishments, but Michelle urges a shift in perspective. Recognize that you are inherently worthy simply because you exist. Base your actions and decisions on this intrinsic worth rather than external validation.
Rewrite Your Story:
We all carry narratives about ourselves that may no longer serve us. Michelle emphasized the importance of re-evaluating these stories. Breaking free from limiting beliefs and rewriting your story to reflect your true potential can lead to profound personal and professional growth.
Overcoming the Hustle Mentality
Both Amy and Michelle acknowledged the pervasive hustle mentality that plagues high achievers. We’ve been conditioned to equate busyness with productivity and success. However, Michelle argues that prioritizing self-care and introspection can lead to more effective leadership. By stepping back, recharging, and aligning with your authentic self, you can make decisions from a place of clarity and strength.
Conclusion
In an age where inauthenticity is easily recognized and repelled, embracing your true self can be a game-changer. Authenticity isn’t just a marketing tactic; it’s a powerful tool for creating meaningful connections, inspiring trust, and leading with impact. As Michelle Rios illustrates, the journey to authenticity is ongoing and requires continuous introspection, self-worth acknowledgment, and narrative shifts.
Episode Links
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Transcript for Episode 382. Your Hidden Superpower to Business Growth
Amy [00:00:03]:
Authenticity has become such a buzzword in the online space, but what exactly does it mean? And how can it help us as entrepreneurs to really stand out, to really be able to serve and make an even bigger impact on the world? Well, today's guest, Michelle Rios, is known as the CEO Whisperer for her ability to. To hold the space for entrepreneurs, CEOs and other business leaders to transcend traditional success and unlock their full potential and cultivate greater alignment, purpose, freedom, and joy in their lives and businesses. Michelle, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm excited for this conversation.
Michelle Rios [00:00:49]:
Well, Amy, thank you for having me. And I cannot wait to dive in.
Amy [00:00:53]:
Yes. So tell us all about this buzzword, authenticity. It seems like everywhere we're hearing, oh, just be authentic and your people will find you. What does authenticity mean to you?
Michelle Rios [00:01:08]:
You know, it's interesting because authenticity has become a buzzword, but the reality is it's a daily practice. And what people don't understand is when we show up as ourselves, and in all situations, we're really showing up as the highest version of ourselves. And often when we think of, oh, I'm trying to be authentic, it's actually not authenticity. We're trying to fit into whatever environment we've walked into. And so the way I work with clients and with CEOs and leaders and aspiring leaders and entrepreneurs is to really think, who are you at the core of your being? Because when you can show up as that person, not something you think you need to be, but as the core of your being, your essence, that is your superpower. Each of us came here regardless of what your affiliation might be. From a religious standpoint, we're spiritual beings having a human experience. And when you recognize that each of us shows up on a different frequency, we're all energy.
Michelle Rios [00:02:10]:
And the reality is your authenticity. What makes you, Amy, is going to have a sweet spot and a uniqueness and special gifts that is very different than what makes me, Michelle. And when you recognize what that is, when you sit deeply in the essence of who you are, that's where the magic happens. I think we often confuse authenticity with. Let me just tell you what I'm really thinking, this unfiltered way of saying how it is. And it's not that it's not a permission to be rude or to not have a filter or anything like that, but it's permission for you to show up as yourself. And the reality is, given that everything is energy, including you and me, when we show up as ourselves, we're vibrating at a higher level. And frequency.
Michelle Rios [00:03:02]:
And so people feel that. And when you think about it, as business women, as entrepreneurs, as CEOs of our businesses, people aren't just buying products and services, they're buying you and your energy. So when you show up authentically there, it's because they're buying into that confidence, that ease. When we are fully ourselves, we're relaxed, we're confident, we know who we are, we don't have to put errors on it. We're fine at admitting what we don't know. And people appreciate that. It's that nervous energy of fear when we're not showing up authentically and we're trying to sell or convince or persuade from a place of low frequency, of low energy, of what I call inauthenticity. That's where we struggle.
Amy [00:03:55]:
Yeah, it really is. And this is something that people do pick up on. And in full disclosure, I am not a crazy like woo woo person. I am so strategy driven. But what you are talking about right now with the vibration, it's actually scientifically proven. So I remember hearing this years ago and I was like, what the heck? I looked it up. There is scientific basis behind this. And even in our own interactions with other people, we can tell when we're around people that just bring us down.
Amy [00:04:28]:
I used to call them emotional vampires in my prior career and they just do. They suck the energy out of you. But that's what this is. It all goes back to that vibration that we all admit emit as human beings. And something you said about authenticity, it's a practice. It is a practice. Can you dive more into what does that mean? That authenticity is a practice.
Michelle Rios [00:04:55]:
So it's about choosing the things that's going to allow you to honor who you are. So I think as women, I think in particular, we tend to take on things that don't feel aligned for us, even if we know it's going to rob us of our energy and inhibit us from actually doing our best work. We love to please people in order to fit in. Right. I often say, like some of the worst work I ever did was with the best intentions. And as a leader, you know, I like you. I come from a background that was much more grounded and full, frankly facts and science than any woo woo. I was the last to get on the woo woo train and I didn't even think of it that way.
Michelle Rios [00:05:37]:
I was in business for 25 years in public policy and PR doing big massive million dollar deals with corporations. So it's not like I came up and talked about any of These things. But when I was showing up authentically, you would know it. When I walked into a room, the energy shifts. The energy literally shifts. So when I say work on a daily practice of authenticity, I know that in order to show up and give right, we're here to serve. That's why we're here. I need to do certain things, and when I don't, I can't give my best.
Michelle Rios [00:06:13]:
So I'll. I'll give you an example. I've been working on a book. I have, you know, courses coming out, all the things like most entrepreneurs are doing multiple things. And I had gotten into a place where I wasn't working out regularly, and I felt like I still had a lot of energy, but the reality is I wasn't actually producing my best work and I was getting stuck one shift, getting out of my own way and protecting my time as a leader and going out and going for a walk, doing my weights, whatever it is for you. But for me, that's what it was that allowed me to actually see the problems with greater solutions, much more readily able to function and handle more stress and pressure longer term. So my authenticity practice is about making sure that all the things I take on are in alignment with who I am. You know, when you're not in alignment, you get overstretched.
Michelle Rios [00:07:08]:
It's not just because, you know you're doing things that are going to pull. I'm doing a lot that's stretching me out of my comfort zone. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you really know that that thing that you're going to take on is going to take you out of alignment and you say yes anyway, or you don't work out. And you know, that's actually going to make you less energetic than if you did. It's going to be painful in the short term, but it's going to give you more space to quite frankly, get out of your head and be thinking from a heartfelt space. And authenticity often means going against the grain. You know, there are a lot of times when people will say, you know, you should do this, this, you should do that next.
Michelle Rios [00:07:53]:
I've learned to recognize that from an authenticity standpoint, we need to listen to inner wisdom. We need to actually tap into intuition that intuition is a gift. And as leaders, when we are doing our best work, we're speaking and thinking and operating from an intuitive space and not from a. A headspace. I've rationalized myself into a lot of pickles over the years. You know, And I was in the C suite, and I would spend a lot of time overthinking, overanalyzing, and then ultimately making a decision from a low energy space, space, not from a place of authenticity versus when I gave myself the space to actually be a leader. One of the best mentors I ever had is a CEO and founder of a company, extremely successful, hundreds of millions of dollars. And he said to me, I understand why your calendar is so packed like it is.
Michelle Rios [00:08:48]:
I hired you for your energy. This is a guy that's making massive money. I hired you for your energy. And you are low energy. Like, where is your. Where are you? Where's that spark I hired you for? And because you're not your typical leader, you see past the traditional success. You see people for who they are, not for who you want them to be. And that's what I need.
Michelle Rios [00:09:12]:
So what do you need to do to take care of yourself? Because as a leader, that's the most important thing you have to do. You can't lead successfully or effectively if you run down. That was the first time in my career, and I was well into my 40s at that point. First time in my career someone had told me that it was okay to actually back up, to create some perspective and block out time. For me as an entrepreneur, I'm much better at it. But that was the first time in a corporate setting. Someone said, you're not going to be an effective leader, not just if you don't get your rest and go on vacation, all that, but in the middle of your busy firestorm of a day. You don't have time to create space, to drop down into your intuitive heart space in order to make good decisions.
Michelle Rios [00:10:01]:
The decisions that you know intuitively you should make based on all of your experience and based on the way you're feeling through this problem versus analytically, which is where we get really stuck as leaders. So authenticity is learning to use the filter of who you are and what you feel intuitively to be able to lead you in your business. And we often shut that down, right? We're like, well, that's not convenient. I have too much to do on my to do list. I don't want to take down time. I'm. I'm in the. I'm okay in the hustle and grind right now.
Michelle Rios [00:10:37]:
That's what I need to do to get through. And I again, daily practice. I was stuck not even that long ago, and I had to be reminded. Reset, reboot. You cannot lead from a place of depletion and authenticity. Gets masks. Because then you just start saying yes to a lot of things that don't align with who you are. They don't support why you're here.
Amy [00:11:02]:
Exactly. Oh, my goodness. Right? We've become as high performers, high achievers, so addicted to the hustle, so addicted to the productivity. If only I work harder, then I'll get this. But the reality of what you're saying is it's almost the opposite. Once you really prioritize yourself and lean into what it is that you want, you know that you have all of the answers already within you. Because your life experience, your wisdom, your energy, all of these things allows you to step in, into your full power. Now, for someone listening to this, going, oh, my gosh, she just described, like, everything I'm going through to a T.
Amy [00:11:46]:
And I know I need to lean into my authenticity. What are some simple steps that listeners can do to really start to cultivate this, to lean into that versus this narrative, that more hustle equals more results?
Michelle Rios [00:12:06]:
Yeah, no, thank you for asking the question because it's such an important one and there are so many very obvious things that we forget. So I think first and foremost, I love to use the word introspection. You need to take time to step back. If that's meditation for you, fantastic. Some days it shows up as meditation for me. Sometimes it's just a walk in the woods, a walk in the neighborhood. Sometimes this is quiet time with a cup of tea. But the reality is you have to carve out regular and be disciplined about this time.
Michelle Rios [00:12:39]:
For introspection, what is introspection? Introspection means stopping, trying to let the noise around you go away for a little bit and listen to what's coming up from within you. You cannot listen to wisdom coming from within if there's all the noise from the outside drowning it out. So I always say, first of all, what's your. Your practice on a daily basis for carving out? For me, sometimes it's 10 minutes is all I need. Sometimes on the weekends, though, I make a purposeful effort for a full hour just for me. It's not always easy with kids. Right. But I give back better when I've taken that time.
Michelle Rios [00:13:21]:
And I want to be really cautious because when you start to say things like, well, you should meditate or you should use introspection, people are like, I don't have time for that. Here's the thing. If you don't have time right now, then that is why the next thing you should be doing is spending some time in introspection. Because if you're too Busy to have 10 minutes to spend listening to what's coming up from within, you're not going to be able to even recognize yourself. You're going to get stuck in a cycle of constant tail chasing. So it starts with introspection. I always say that's the foundation of really asking yourself some very basic questions. What is coming up for me? What is it that I want? And how am I showing up? When you start to ask yourself those questions and you allow yourself to answer them from within honestly, you're going to get a lot of information.
Michelle Rios [00:14:11]:
The second thing, and this is a really important one, we have historically been fine tuned to get all of our validation externally. So the more things you accomplish, the busier you are. The more things you check off your to do list, the more productive you feel, the more validated you feel that you think you are. Right. We feel like, oh, I can justify my existence again and we have to get off that gravy train. That is not a good place to operate from. We have to recognize however it is for you. But you are worthy.
Michelle Rios [00:14:46]:
You are inherently worthy in your being, not in your doing. It is simply because you exist. You are here in this time, in this space, and you are fully worthy. Now. Anything you do after you recognize that you are already worthy, there's no proving that needs to be done. Hallelujah and fantastic. Because that should come from a place of authenticity. Unfortunately, so many of us have been trained to, well, someone said I'd be good at this, or someone said I'd be good at that, or I should be doing this, I should be doing that.
Michelle Rios [00:15:19]:
And the reality is, none of that matters. I made an entire life and was super successful at a bunch of stuff that actually didn't have a lot of meaning for me. And that creates a really tough place of, of like being not in alignment with yourself. And then you live in this constant space of resistance showing up. So, yeah. Are you capable of doing hard things? Sure. We all are. We can all do things that we don't like.
Michelle Rios [00:15:45]:
That's what we were told. That's work, you know, like, get over it. But I want to challenge you. You came here with certain gifts and in certain predispositions that if you are not getting your worth out of those ext things, you're allowing yourself to recognize your inherent worth. Your decisions about where you spend your time and what you decide to do should be driven by what you firmly believe you're here to do. It feels, and a lot of times like it's a privilege. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to walk in this space. But some people are going to choose things very different than you because they're fine tuned, because they feel like, I don't know, they came here to bake the best, you know, baked goods ever and that was the gift they were given.
Michelle Rios [00:16:30]:
Or, you know, my husband is this guru in the world of computer science and cybersecurity. He's very passionate about it. I have zero interest in being that, having that being my space. You know, I came here to inspire people, to kind of wake people up to say, hey, no matter where you are, I, I grew up in the business world. I am a business leader. I have my hand still in corporate and I'm a full time entrepreneur. And you can still show up authentically and get your worth not from what you do, but simply who you are. You don't have to do anything more.
Michelle Rios [00:17:06]:
And authenticity is driven by those two things, primarily. And then the third thing, I mean, there are eight principles that I talk about, but the third one I'll share with you on the show here is rewriting your story. We all have these stories, right, that we started out in life with. We inherit them, we're conditioned through society to have them, we inherited them through our family traditions or what have you. And somewhere along the line we interpret certain things like, well, I'm worthy because I do these things, or I'm not good enough or whatever the things are that then drive how we spend our time. And I want to really challenge you, unless those stories that you're telling yourself, and you know what they are, we all do, because they're the ones that are on repeat in our head. They come up, they're almost subconscious, but we know what they are. And if they're not serving you, you have to really stop and ask yourself, why am I allowing this to drive the narrative of my life? Why am I allowing this to be what shows up in my business and is inhibiting me from actually having the breakthrough that I'd love to experience? Because the reality is, if you're not experiencing something in life or your experience of life really isn't what you're looking for.
Michelle Rios [00:18:23]:
This is a, this is a narrative shift. You hold the pen in your hand and so much I will tell you, I started off in life as the oldest of three children to teenage parents in rural America is not an easy space to occupy. But I had this mission. I have to set the bar high. I have to do well. People are depending on Me that served me for a very long time. It opened up an enormous amount of doors because I was a high achiever. I did a lot of really cool things, and I put myself into this, as I always say, like the competitive advantage of never wanting to fail.
Michelle Rios [00:19:01]:
And therein lies the problem. It served me for a long time, but there came a point in time when that same story started to turn on me. It didn't open doors. It was actually pushing me under the truck, if you will, and. And I had to make a decision. Hey, I've had this story for a really long time. Maybe this one isn't really fitting who I am and who I'm becoming, who I've always been meant to be. Maybe it's time to evolve that story to fit the narrative I want to experience.
Michelle Rios [00:19:29]:
And I have had to go through this metamorphosis on several occasions. You know, I'm in my fifth decade of life, so I've had a few of these. And I will tell you this, the clearer you can get it on the narrative you want to experience, the more you're going to step into your authenticity and the more it's just going to exude from you. You know, like I say, you know it when somebody walks in the room and they're being. They're authentic because the whole room energy shifts. There's a light that kind of emanates from these people and you feel their energy. You actually feel it. And so I always say the three things that will really, if you want a life, shift in your business, your personal life, spend more time in introspection, really recognize your inherent worth in your being, not in your doing, and spend some time.
Michelle Rios [00:20:19]:
If you need to flip the script on your personal narrative, really take a look at the stories you've been telling yourself about yourself. It's not what other people are saying about you, it's what you are saying. What you're worthy of, what you're capable of, what's for you, what's possible. And nine times out of 10, there's something in that story that says, well, it's. She's could do that, but, like, that's not something I could do. Or. Or whatever the story is we're saying, right? Like, I'm good enough to get to this level, but like, I can't fathom that level. Well, why not? If that's what you want.
Amy [00:20:53]:
Yeah, but going back to what you said earlier, I think so many people, we don't even know what it is that we want because we've used the noise to avoid that introspection. We use these stories as excuses, but the reality is we can rewrite that story. We can make that choice to make a change. I experienced this in my own life. I came from a very successful career. I was also the overachiever. Graduated from college very young, worked in a very lucrative career. I was very good at it for years, but it was out of alignment.
Amy [00:21:30]:
And when I made the decision and committed to rewriting the story for myself, not for anyone else, so many opportunities just appeared. It was almost like magic. And it's wild to look back on this. So everything Michelle is telling you today is absolutely 100% spot on. Make the commitment to yourself because when you lean into your authenticity as a leader, you are letting your light shine for others so that they can step into their power, their authenticity as well. Michelle, thank you. Thank you so much for shedding light on this. And if you are interested in learning more, Michelle has done some awesome things.
Amy [00:22:21]:
She's got an amazing podcast called Live youe Extraordinary Life. You've also got a book and you're working on another one currently, is that correct?
Michelle Rios [00:22:30]:
I'm working on a book and I'm working. I actually just launched my course today, so if anyone's interested, that one's going to be a nice one for a businesswoman in particular. It's called Extraordinary Wealth Mastering the Art of Selling with Soul. So for serious businesswomen and entrepreneurs and sales professionals that find selling hard, this is about finding ease in it and really finding your authentic, soul aligned voice in the sales process.
Amy [00:22:59]:
I love it. So get into her world. She is a wealth of knowledge and information. Thank you again, Michelle. I appreciate you.
Michelle Rios [00:23:08]:
Thank you so much for having me. Amy, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Amy [00:23:12]:
And until next time, cheers to making the money you want so you can create the impact you desire.
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