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The Subtle Art of Emotional Resilience: A Pathway to Sustainable Success with Molly Claire
The Myth of Constant Highs
One of the earliest misconceptions dispelled by Molly Claire is the belief that sustainability equates to perpetual highs in business. As discussed in the podcast, the assumption that "staying on the high all the time" leads to success is misleading. This mindset often results in burnout, where the pressure to constantly ride the crest of excitement can wear down even the most enthusiastic entrepreneur. Instead, embracing the ebbs and flows is essential.
Amy aptly compares this cyclical nature to a thermostat, highlighting the need for balance rather than an incessant climb. By acknowledging that not every day will be filled with peak moments, entrepreneurs can shift towards realistic and sustainable growth strategies.
Commitment and Support: The Foundations of Lasting Change
For lasting change, commitment goes hand in hand with support. Molly emphasizes the importance of structured support systems that extend beyond mere commitment to goals. This begins with a self-inventory: understanding your mindset, providing emotional support, and developing strategic habits.
The discussion highlights mindset transformation, advocating for effective rather than simply positive thinking. Molly challenges the notion of always being in "belief" and instead encourages entrepreneurs to focus on a commitment to long-term goals, regardless of daily fluctuations in self-belief. By focusing on the commitment to staying on course, entrepreneurs allow themselves to accept the human experiences of doubt and fear, thereby preventing them from becoming obstacles.
The Power of Habits: Small Steps Toward Big Goals
Habit formation is a cornerstone of transformation, a concept lauded by James Clear's "Atomic Habits." Molly reinforces this by explaining how the initial stages of adopting a new habit demand more mental and emotional energy. This recognition allows entrepreneurs to power through this challenging phase with the understanding that over time, these habits will become second nature, alleviating decision fatigue and conserving mental resources for more critical strategic decisions.
By stacking habits and setting small, achievable goals, entrepreneurs can build lasting changes that culminate in significant transformation. This approach not only facilitates progress but also uplifts individuals from passive to empowered states, where they take control and actively seek solutions.
Decoding the Key Challenges
Molly identifies several hurdles that prevent entrepreneurs from achieving sustainable success. A pivotal aspect is understanding the role of the nervous system in business. She explains that many entrepreneurs unknowingly operate from a flight response, fueled by fear, which leads to frantic, often ineffective action. By recognizing this, entrepreneurs can begin to adopt strategies to regulate their nervous system, ensuring greater access to the prefrontal cortex — the true "CEO brain" responsible for strategic and creative decision-making.
Techniques such as breathwork, meditation, and cold plunges can enhance vagal tone, allowing entrepreneurs to remain grounded and calm, thus opening pathways to clear, strategic thought processes essential for overcoming hurdles.
Conclusion: Embracing a Holistic Approach
In closing, Molly’s insights reaffirm that building a successful business is as much about internal development as external execution. By leveraging mindset adjustments, emotional intelligence, habitual practice, and nervous system regulation, entrepreneurs can cultivate a robust foundation for sustainable success.
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Transcript for Episode 396. Is Belief Actually Slowing Your Business Growth?
Amy [00:00:03]:
As a business owner, it's so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day to do's that never ending to do list when you're wearing all of the hats, being all of the things to everyone all of the time. So emotional resilience is something that as a business owner is a skill that is necessary to navigate not only the high points in business, but the low points as well to, to build that sustainable business that makes that impact, that lets you live the life that you want. And today's guest, Molly Claire, is just truly an expert on this. She is the founder of the Masterful Coach Collective and she trains master coaches with superior skills so that they can cultivate lasting change in each and every client. We need more Molly in the world. Thank you so much for being here with me today, Molly. It's great to have you.
Molly Claire [00:01:00]:
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here and so happy to just even be a small piece in supporting these amazing CEOs listening to this podcast.
Amy [00:01:10]:
Yes, absolutely. And it's conversations like this that we really, truly need to hear. Because when business is good and we're riding the highs, it's easy, right? But that's not the reality. There's an ebb and a flow, it's a roller coaster. And this is, is the time of the year when that new year energy starts to wear off and it can get a little tough. Mid February, we're back into the day to day routine. All the shiny objects have kind of faded away. So as business owners, what do we have to do to get the results that we want to keep that momentum going when we start to hit that slump?
Molly Claire [00:01:59]:
Yeah, it's, it's such a great question. And you know, it's kind of like there are so many things to say about it and yet I also, as we speak about it, I think it's so important that each of you listening can, can just take away a few small things, right? Even if it's, it's one small thing. So I want to answer your question, but I want to take it a little bit broader for just a second. Okay. So you know, we, we all know the changes we want to make, we all know the results we want to achieve. And when we're first envisioning it, thinking about it, or whenever we have, we all know those moments, right? When it feels and seems and we believe that it's inevitable and it's all possible, right? It's that like this high that we experience and we all know what it's like when we have moments of doubt, insecurity, fear, uncertainty, whether those are little moments or whether they are the really big, heavy moments of it. Right. And so.
Molly Claire [00:03:18]:
And the reason that I. That I bring this up is that I think sometimes we think that the key is to stay on that high all the time, but actually that's not necessarily true. So I want to bring that up first because if anyone is thinking that, like, oh, yes, sustainability means staying on the high all the time, maybe it's not. Maybe it's not exactly so. And I have more to say about it. But I also, I. Yeah, I mean, I would love your thoughts initially on that so that I can continue to answer in a way that's going to be most helpful.
Amy [00:03:56]:
I absolutely love that because I really feel like in our society, we've been conditioned to believe that we're supposed to stay on that high, that that's the ultimate goal, is to be, you know, living our best life every single day. But you're right. Is that sustainable? Is that what we actually want? You know, what comes to mind immediately for me in this great point that you bring up is like a household thermostat. You know, it doesn't just keep climbing, climbing, climbing, because you would get to the point where you'd just be so hot, so uncomfortable. Well, no, we want that thermostat to kind of regulate our everyday, regulate our reality, so that when we're getting, you know, really, really hot, it can cool us back down. And same thing, when we're cooling off, it can warm us back up. So that's immediately what comes to mind for me, because you're right. I really think that it's.
Amy [00:04:50]:
It's shoved down our throats as, as business owners and in our faces like, no, you need to want more, you need to get more. And yes, that's great. You should have these big goals and aspirations. But you're right, it shouldn't be about riding that high 24 7. That just sounds like a fast track to burnout.
Molly Claire [00:05:09]:
Well, yes, and there, there are a few problems with having that frame of mind, that mindset that it should be that way. So number one is, and I, I see this all the time. I've seen this with my clients over the years, whether they're, you know, coaches, business owners, that when we are experiencing doubt or fear, we kind of freak out about it a little bit. Right. We assign a lot of meaning to it. And I've heard so, so many. Because, you know, part of the work I do, of course, I work with coaches helping them with mindset work with their clients as well as emotion work and all these things, right? And so when we think about this from a mindset perspective, I've heard so many of my clients over the years say things like, I know I just need to stay in belief. I need to be in belief more.
Molly Claire [00:05:57]:
I need to always be in belief when in truth, no, we're never always going to be in belief. And if we believe that we're supposed to, then, then when we don't, we get, we kind of freak out, right? We get nervous and we think this is wrong. And, and so, you know, a solution to this, for those of you that listening, that maybe relate to that is this idea that, you know, the most important thing you can do as you begin your journey is commit to one day. This is what I will have, this is what I will achieve, and I will have this belief in it 100% one day. But right now, I'm committed to continuing the course. And there is much more power in continuing the course toward believing, toward realizing, then believing that we need to be quote, unquote, in belief and on this high all the time. Because what that allows is it allows for us to accept the reality of being human. And that is that there is an ebb and flow to all of it.
Molly Claire [00:07:09]:
So that's number one. That's one of the big reasons why it's a problem to believe that we should be on this high because then we end up having self frustration and actually instead of, you know, just not quote, unquote, being in belief, we're pretty deep in disbelief because we're kind of blowing out of proportion the feelings that we're having.
Amy [00:07:29]:
That is a powerful mindset shift right there. Because all too often we have been conditioned to believe. Okay, you just have to believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. What happens when you then don't get the proof? Then that subconscious narrative starts kicking up and can wreck you. It can really cause you to get into your head. So I love how you said it's the commitment.
Amy [00:07:55]:
It's the commitment to yourself. Now, do you think that's part of the reason that implementing change is so hard for us and part of the reason that this excitement of the new year runs off because we're not really committed.
Molly Claire [00:08:12]:
I mean, absolutely. I think it's. I think there is one element of not being committed, but I think it's kind of like this. We can commit to something and we can feel it and we can be all in. But are we providing ourselves the support to Actually get there. And that's the question. And that is really, like, that's what I work on with my coaches to help them to be equipped to help their clients to not only have a commitment, but do you have the support? And when I'm speaking about support specifically, sort of with the, you know, the methodology that I subscribe to and teach, that is like, mindset wise, right? Mentally, emotionally, do I have the support? Do I have the structure in place? So if we think about moving toward any one goal. So let's imagine that someone says, okay, they have a weight loss goal, right? This is like such a common goal.
Molly Claire [00:09:03]:
You know, every. There's so much noise about weight and losing weight, gaining weight, whatever. So let's assume someone has a weight goal. And yes, it requires the commitment, but then what are the tools and things you have in place to help you to get there? Right? What are. What kind of support are you offering yourself from a mindset perspective to help you to view things maybe not even in a, you know, what we would call a positive way, but in an effective way. So here's what I mean by this. Sometimes we can think positive. Thinking is these positive affirmations, like, I know I'm gonna do it.
Molly Claire [00:09:44]:
I'm gonna be the weight that I want. I'm this that. Right? But. But if we don't really believe that, if there's a part of us that doesn't, it can just actually be the opposite and not be very helpful. And so instead, when we're thinking about useful and effective mindset tools to help us toward that, it might be something like, I'm committed to staying the course no matter what. Maybe I'm having a bad day or a bad moment, but it doesn't need to last. Right? And so. So that's one example of.
Molly Claire [00:10:17]:
Of how not only do we need to be committed to that end goal, but, and obviously, I'm a huge advocate for everyone having a qualified coach, because I think coaches help us in having what we need to move toward it. Right? But that's an example of the mindset piece toward that goal. And then, of course, there are emotion tools we want to have, right? There are a lot of emotions that come up for us as we moving or as we are moving toward goals. What kind of understanding do we have of our own nervous system and emotional regulation to help us get there? You know, and then the other piece, I know I'm kind of going through this quickly, but hopefully illustrating this idea that, you know, also by having structure in place with ways to Implement small habits. So nothing is overwhelming. And so I think the commitment needs to be there and within the commitment to making it happen, being really honest with ourselves, to say, and what support do I need to make my commitment sure and lasting? And how am I making sure that I am putting that in place?
Amy [00:11:24]:
That last one especially, I feel like it really shifts someone from a very passive kind of victim mentality to, you know what, I'm in control and actively seeking those solutions. And it addresses all different parts. Like you said, it's the mindset, it's the emotion. It's those habits. Especially the habits are something I think as entrepreneurs we don't put. Put a lot of weight into. But one of my favorite books is Atomic Habits by James Clear. And it's so simple.
Molly Claire [00:11:57]:
Yeah.
Amy [00:11:58]:
So profound, the impact of habits. Because literally everything we do, from the way we think to the way we eat to the. It's all habitual.
Molly Claire [00:12:08]:
It is. And okay, I have to say this because when you said that, I could just. I get so excited about this topic because. Because, you know, one of the things that. That my coaches help their clients with is we help them to understand and implement this idea that anytime we're starting a new habit or working toward a new goal. Okay, let's say this is week one of doing a new habit. When we are starting something new, it requires more mental and emotional energy from us. And that can.
Molly Claire [00:12:52]:
It's important to recognize that because when we don't, what happens is as I'm implementing a new goal, I'm feeling that sense of, ooh, this is requiring more of me. This is hard. I don't know if I can keep doing this. And there's a part of my brain that's believing it's always going to be this hard. When in truth, once a habit is established, it just doesn't require a lot of, you know, mental or emotional energy. And so one of the keys to really helping ourselves to start a new habit is to. To say and to write and to speak and to really embrace that. It's going to take a little bit more from me while I'm getting this pattern started.
Molly Claire [00:13:34]:
And that's okay. I'm willing to do it because I know it's not always going to be this hard. I know that at some point in time this is going to be easy. This is supportive. And just having that frame of mind makes it so much easier for us to tolerate and even accept that it's harder as you get started. And then. Right. Because.
Molly Claire [00:13:56]:
Because our. Our nervous system hardwires behaviors and, and then when we can, it's. It's kind of like this. I mean, every day I get up at the same time. I know this sounds really boring to a lot of people, but whether it's Monday or it's Sunday, I get up at the same time because it's a really useful habit for me. And I get up and I put my exercise clothes on and I do my journal and I go and do it and I just do it and I don't even think about it. And when someone says, oh, you're so good that you do that, that's like the, you know, they act as if it takes a lot of effort and it certainly made a decision at one point in time, but it takes really no effort from me. It's just like getting up and putting clothes on.
Molly Claire [00:14:37]:
Right, right.
Amy [00:14:39]:
It's that habit. And I could nerd out on the neuroscience of it all all day long. I mean, it's just fascinating how our brains work. And you're right, it does. It requires so much more mental capacity at the beginning because it's resistance. We are wired for comfort as human beings. So of course, anytime anything is new, whether it be something good or bad, there's going to be more energy expenditure. And if you can realize that, acknowledge it and go, you know what, this is just temporary, that will help you keep going because as you said, then it turns into a habit.
Amy [00:15:19]:
And what that does is I have found that habits really have helped with the decision fatigue component of life, of entrepreneurship. Because if you're wasting your amazing brain power and capacity on making these little trivial decisions, you're going to be worn out by, you know, 9:00 in the morning.
Molly Claire [00:15:38]:
That's right, that's right. And so, you know, I love that you said that because if someone hears that I get up and I put on my exercise clothes every day and they're thinking it's really great that I do that. Maybe it's because they're thinking that I'm actively making a decision to do it every morning and that I'm going through the debate and I'm deciding that I will, but I'm not doing any of, I'm not thinking at all. The decision was made years ago ago. Right?
Amy [00:16:01]:
Yeah. And that's, that's really a strategy. As business owners, we can do is just setting those non negotiables, making those things habit in our day that we need to get done, that we are so committed to it, that helps us maintain that lasting change. Because now it's habit. The thought is eliminated. We're going, we're doing, and we are committed to the outcome. And it's those little steps that lead to the transformation that we want. You know, all too often we think, oh, I need to do this or that or the other.
Amy [00:16:33]:
No, it's just taking one step in front of the other, in front of the other and other.
Molly Claire [00:16:37]:
That's right. That's right. And I think that the more we can realize the power of stacking our habits, right? Like choosing a small habit, setting yourself up for success. This is something I do with my clients. It's like, okay, we look at this is the thing we're trying to achieve, right? What are all the things that are going to get in the way of it, right? And so you can take this with a small thing. Let's say, as a CEO, you know that, you know, every single Monday, you want to spend 30 minutes looking at one aspect of your business, and maybe you're dreading it, and maybe, you know, or you're not sure where to begin or you feel inadequate to do it, or you're wondering if your time is better spent somewhere else, right? So let's say this is the goal. Well, then the process becomes, this is what I'm going to do. What are all the things that could potentially get in the way? And we write these down and we give.
Molly Claire [00:17:31]:
We have no judgment on this. It could be, well, I might be tired, I might not feel like it. I might feel overwhelmed. I might X, Y or Z, right? These are all the things that could happen. And now what are all the solutions to every single one of those? So you are building in solutions. And this is literally you as the CEO, being the CEO of yourself, of your brain, of your body, of your life, and giving yourself a plan of support. And usually what we do is instead of being supportive of ourselves, we just beat ourselves up and we say, I just got to do it. Like, what's wrong with me that I haven't.
Molly Claire [00:18:13]:
I need to finally, this and that, right? We have this terrible conversation with ourselves, and I would much rather have a relationship with myself that says, hey, Molly, as you're doing this, how can we support you in making it happen? Right? And I think sometimes we think that the drill sergeant or this mean version of us is what keeps us accountable and what helps us achieve things. But I completely disagree, because for me, anyway, I feel like, what is more powerful than feeling totally supported in achieving what I want? I'm likely to be more energized, more motivated Everything's going to be easier and everything's going to move faster. Not to mention that I'm actually enjoying my life and my business.
Amy [00:18:57]:
Right. Life is meant to be lived. We are not meant to just be hustling and grinding 24 7. It's exhausting. But when we do move into that supportive role, when we have that self awareness to see, you know what, these are things that could potentially try and derail me, just come at ourselves from that compassionate standpoint, it really does help us just build a better business because we're mentally showing up better, we're emotionally in a better space and so we can pour into others even more. Now I'm curious, what would you say is the biggest thing holding entrepreneurs back from achieving these lasting changes? Because short term it's easy, right? Long term gets a little harder. So how would you summarize it? Would it be the support, Would it be habits? Would it be something entirely different? What would you say?
Molly Claire [00:19:54]:
Yeah, I mean, I'm a little biased because, you know, I definitely teach really like a four pronged approach where I think it's imperative that we understand our mindset. I think it's imperative that we understand our specific, what I call emotion set and how to have greater emotional connection with self, understanding our nervous system and then also understanding how habits play out. So I really focus on those four things. But you know, one thing I'll highlight in relation to your question with how do we do it? How do we make it sustainable? I don't think that most, most people realize and most business owners realize the degree to which our nervous system matters when it comes to building our business. Because when, when we're building a business, most of us are facing a lot of our biggest fears, right? Fears of rejection, fears of failure, fears around money. It is like a big deal. I really think that building a business is like, it's quite a journey internally, isn't it? It really is. And what a gift, what an opportunity.
Molly Claire [00:21:26]:
So having said all of that, it's impossible for us to take on something so big without having responses in the body. Responses where we go into a sympathetic nervous system response. And sometimes what this looks like, this is kind of a sneaky version of this. I know I'm getting a little bit off, but, but I'm going to bring this full circle and I really hope that if nothing else, this raises awareness for, for your listeners around some of these patterns in our body, in our nervous system that, you know, play into our behaviors. But imagine. And some, I'm sure some of Your listeners can relate to this. Do you relate to attacking your list, attacking your schedule? You just go, go, go, and you try all the things and you do all the things and you're just. I call this, like frantic action that we're taking.
Molly Claire [00:22:17]:
And the truth is that oftentimes that frantic action, that overworking that we're doing, where we're maybe not being super strategic and we're not really grounded, is a version of the flight response. And people don't realize this because it's become so normal for us how many people are running around trying to do everything and take care of everything, right? And so this is not an effective pattern. And I know that it might seem effective because you might think, well, yeah, but hustling and moving fast, it's gotten me pretty far. But guess what? If we can regulate our nervous system, we can get so much further. Because the truth is that when we can, as human beings, as business owners, be in a more calm and grounded state, what this means is that we have greater access to our prefrontal cortex, and that is our CEO brain. So if I want to be a CEO, I need access to my CEO brain, the executive functioning, to plan ahead, to be strategic, to be creative. And so if any of you listening relate to and our responses can come up in different ways, right? It may be frantic action, it may be avoidance, it may be sluggishness, but this, if this is happening, what I want to encourage you to do is find ways to ground yourself, regulate your nervous system. This is, you know, these are things like breath, work, meditation, journaling.
Molly Claire [00:23:56]:
You can even do walking, meditation. Exercise is very helpful. I go to a place where I do infrared sauna and cold plunge, which is really good for the vagus nerve. But it's like I can't overemphasize the importance of you as a CEO doing the things to ensure good vagus nerve health and a nervous system that is regulated and allows you to be more calm and smarter and more strategic in everything you're doing. I actually don't even remember the question you asked me, but hopefully that answered it.
Amy [00:24:45]:
I love that response because yes, yes to all of it. We are wearing busy like this badge of honor. And building a business is literally the biggest personal development journey you will ever take. But if you learn how to harness that power, that capacity of that prefrontal cortex, a world of opportunities appear. But half of the time, we can't even access that because our sympathetic nervous system's so ramped up in that high threshold state that we don't even know. We can't think straight. We can't make those critical decisions. So I am so glad that you brought that up because, yes, as a business owner, yes, that will hold you back if you are unable to regulate your nervous system.
Amy [00:25:38]:
It feeds into everything. You will not be able to make those strategic decisions. And that's my zone of genius is really helping you use that data to strategically grow your business. Because, yes, our emotions will hijack us and make us see those obstacles as mountains. When it's like, oh, the opportunity is right, right around the corner there. We just have to, you know, turn just a little bit and divert our eyes, and it's right there. But, yes, that is such an undervalued key to business success. Molly.
Amy [00:26:12]:
Claire, I just could listen to you talk all day long. You are amazing. Now you have a podcast as well. Tell us a little bit about that, how we can find you all the things.
Molly Claire [00:26:23]:
Yes. So you can find me at the Masterful Coach podcast. It is where I talk about coaching, skill mastery, business, and also ideal business and life balance, which I know you're a big fan of having as well. I have phenomenal guests on there. And. And I really talk about this methodology of how, you know, as human beings wanting to create change, we need to understand our mind, our emotions, our nervous system, which is kind of the backdrop of all of it, and how to really support ourselves and change. So you can find me at the Masterful Coach podcast. You can also just go to mollyclair.com I have some free resources there.
Molly Claire [00:27:05]:
You can find out programs that I offer, including my holistic master coach training. And that's about it. And I'm on. I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, so can find me all the places.
Amy [00:27:17]:
I love it. Well, thank you so much, Molly. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to just pour into listeners. I appreciate you.
Molly Claire [00:27:25]:
Thank you so, so much for having me. It's been awesome.
Amy [00:27:28]:
And until next time, remember, leverage your data and shatter your sales plateau.
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