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Navigating the Digital Age: Using Social Media Without Losing Yourself
The Allure and Addiction of Social Media
Amy began the engaging conversation by questioning why so many people find themselves glued to their screens. Shelby pointed out that social media platforms are intentionally designed to be addictive. The algorithms are crafted to keep users engaged for as long as possible. “The whole goal of these platforms is to keep the user on there long enough,” Shelby explained. They achieve this by understanding user behavior and serving content that generates endorphins and keeps users hooked.
The phenomenon where five minutes of scrolling turns into two hours isn't coincidental; it’s a calculated strategy by the platforms. Shelby emphasized the importance of recognizing this addiction and the harmful habit it fosters. She suggested simple tactics like putting the phone down or questioning the necessity of opening an app as first steps toward breaking the cycle.
Setting Boundaries: The Power of the Pause
Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship with social media. Shelby shared her personal experience of giving up social media during Lent, which allowed her to reassess her consumption habits. “I was literally on it all the time,” she noted, illustrating the pervasive nature of her usage.
Amy echoed these sentiments, revealing her own strategy of unplugging from social media on weekends. While initially challenging, this break proved beneficial to her mental health and personal life. Shelby urged listeners to ask themselves, “Do I really even need this app?” This introspection can reveal surprising truths about one’s dependency on social media.
Shelby also promoted the idea of “The Power of the Pause,” encouraging people to take a step back and evaluate the role social media plays in their lives. She posited that people are increasingly craving a slower, more disconnected lifestyle as an antidote to the constant barrage of digital information.
Creating and Maintaining Boundaries
For those struggling to set boundaries, Shelby offered practical advice. First and foremost, identify your primary purpose for using social media. If it’s for business, consider outsourcing tasks to maintain a healthy balance. “Hire someone or outsource it for someone else to run it for you,” she advised.
Shelby stressed the importance of leveraging tools like screen time monitors to enforce limits. Setting clear boundaries not only enhances mental health but also fosters a more fulfilling personal life. “If you have kids, they’re going to see you on your phone...get off your damn phone,” she asserted, emphasizing the influence one’s habits can have on family dynamics.
The Future of Social Media: Authenticity Over Perfection
Looking ahead, Shelby predicted a shift in how people use social media. As platforms become saturated, authenticity will emerge as a crucial differentiator. “The filters, the facade, the highlight reels, that shit needs to go out the window. You need to show up as who you are,” Shelby declared.
In a landscape inundated with polished, curated content, genuine human experiences will resonate more deeply with audiences. Shelby encouraged business owners to build personal brands that reflect their true selves, as authenticity can break through the noise and foster stronger community connections.
Strategies for Standing Out in a Crowded Market
Shelby concluded with advice on building a standout brand in a competitive market. She emphasized the importance of courageously sharing one’s authentic self, even if it means showing vulnerability. “Show up raw and be willing to say ‘this shit is hard,’” she advised.
She cautioned against mimicking others, urging listeners instead to focus on content that genuinely excites them and resonates with their unique perspective. Standing out in a saturated market requires bravery, consistency, and a deep commitment to one’s core values and mission.
Conclusion
Social media is a double-edged sword, offering immense opportunities while also posing significant challenges. By setting clear boundaries, staying true to oneself, and intentionally navigating the digital space, individuals and business owners can harness the power of social media without succumbing to its pitfalls. Shelby Clement's insights provide a valuable roadmap for anyone looking to make social media work for them rather than the other way around. So, take a pause, reassess your habits, and remember to show up just as you are—because authenticity always prevails.
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Transcript for Episode 366. Chaos to Control: Make Social Media Work for You! with Shelby Clement
Amy [00:00:02]:
Let's talk all things social media. There is so much right now going on in the online space. And today's guest, Shelby Clement is a social media manager, management agency owner. That's a mouthful. Podcast host, event founder, founder of Damn Good Marketing the membership. And she teaches others how to make social media work for you but while you're still present in your everyday life and motivate and inspire others to chase their God given purpose. I love that. Shelby, thanks for being here today.
Amy [00:00:42]:
I'm so excited to talk all things social with you because I will tell you what, there are people that are more like addicted and glued to their screens than actually present in their everyday life. Why do you think that is? Why are we so hooked on social media?
Shelby Clement [00:01:00]:
I think, well, well, first off, thanks for having me. Social media is such a mental thing where the addiction is real. And I feel like it's just like any other addiction that you can have in life that it feels some sort of endorphin in you of like, we're so obsessed with the lives that others live on social media or the things that you can learn on social media because not real, like, not everything on social is bad, obviously. Like, you can learn a lot of things. Social is now turned into the new Google of like, everybody searches how to do certain things on there. So you're, you kind of go down a rabbit hole. But the whole goal of these platforms to survive and to be successful is to keep the user on there long enough. So think about like, people talk about TikTok and they're like, oh my God, I just started scrolling.
Shelby Clement [00:01:40]:
I thought it's been five minutes, but it's actually been two hours. And like they're doing that on purpose. They are trying to figure out your brain and every move you're making when you're on these, these platforms. And it's become an addiction for everyone to the point of like, you aren't. Like, if you look around at your next gathering, everybody's on their phone. Like, everybody's on their phone because they can't just not be into social media. And it's a habit at this point. Like, it's a habit now too for me.
Shelby Clement [00:02:06]:
But I've gotten better after this year of like putting my phone down or if I'm like, oh crap, I just opened Instagram. Like, why? I don't even need to have it open and like, I'll put my phone back down. But like, it's like really big tactics that you should be forming as a human being from this point forward. Of like, how do I stop being as addicted to social media?
Amy [00:02:22]:
Yeah, like you said, it's really addiction by design. You know, that is the job of the platform is to keep you on the platform, to keep you engaged, to keep you looking at those amazing, funny animal videos that pop up on our screens. And all of the things and we do, it becomes a habit. We get so addicted to it and we're all guilty of it. But I think that's really step one is having that awareness of what we're doing. Because you're right. You become so habitually ingrained in just picking up your phone and clicking on Instagram. I've done something recently where I've started unplugging from social media on the weekends.
Amy [00:02:58]:
And it was hard. It was so hard at first because like you said, I just pick it up and I'm like, what the heck am I doing? Why do I even, like, I use social media as a tool in my business. What am I doing on the weekends with it? Why do I feel the need to see what everybody else is doing all the time?
Shelby Clement [00:03:15]:
Yeah. I think a lot of times too is like, you should ask yourself, like, what's the point of social media for you? So, like, a lot of like, if you are a business owner or a personal brand, 110%, I'm going to tell you, you need social media. But if you can't have any type of boundaries or anything set for yourself, then you need to hire someone or outsource it for someone else to run it for you, because you definitely need it in that space. If you're someone else that struggles with addiction to social media and you don't necessarily need it for your business or whatever you're doing, and you're really just there to like scroll and creep on other people, then I would recommend you getting off for a little bit, getting quiet and ask yourself, do I really even need this app? Like, do I really need to consume my brain with other people and what they're doing? And what you'll find out truly is, like, very shocking because a lot of people, especially in like 2025 or 2024, wow, I'm like jumping to next year. But in 2024, especially the end, people are craving slow, they're craving, like, to disconnect, they're craving, like Homestead, they're craving that a little bit more because of what social is doing to our society, what it's doing to us, what it's doing to children, what it's doing to all these things. And so, like, I always tell people like this. That's why I developed the power of the pause this year is literally take a step back. I gave up social media during Lent this year to just see what, what, what would come about it.
Shelby Clement [00:04:27]:
And I was literally on it all the time. And it was every night at 8:00, I'd give it up. I know it's not that much giving up, but, like, as a social media manager, that is huge. And so when I gave it up, I realized, like you, it's. The world still turns and my business still thrived without social media and me being on it after 8:00pm so, like, you just need to ask yourself, like, pause and ask yourself, like, what am I on this platform for? What is the benefits? What are the benefits that I'm getting from it and are they necessary for me to continue down this rabbit hole? And like, I promise you, you're going to get very shocked with the fact that you're probably like, I really don't give a shit about what other people do in their life.
Amy [00:05:00]:
Yeah. And it's as simple as that. And one of the things you said was the B word for a lot of people, boundaries. And that's really, really hard when it comes to social media. Is there any advice you can give someone listening? Like, okay, I don't even know where to start. Like, for you, you said okay at 8:00. I had to shut it down.
Shelby Clement [00:05:20]:
Yeah.
Amy [00:05:21]:
How can someone get better at that? Like, because it's not easy. Let's face it. You can say all day, I'm gonna do this, but it's hard. So how do you set and maintain those boundaries?
Shelby Clement [00:05:32]:
Yeah. So for sure, I 1000% wouldn't recommend it the way I did it. Um, I was in the hospital last year in October, because I was so overwhelmed and so stressed and so all these things about social. I was running a business, I was on social. I was constantly in that game. So, like, if you're in that game, like, you understand that. But like, in the same sense, it's like, what, at what point is it worth it? And so what I would say for you is like, number one, go back to like the big why. Like, why are you on it? Is it for your business? Is it your personal brand? Are you an influencer, your content creator? Or are you someone that's just like scrolling because you're bored? Which is fine.
Shelby Clement [00:06:02]:
But, like, set timers, there's things on your phones now that you can get it completely locked down where you can't even touch it. But, like, it's going to be hard. I'm going to tell you this because we, one, are addicted. Number two, it is a habit. So when you pick up your phone, you automatically go to the app. You know exactly where it is. You probably do it in your sleep. But this is something that when you see what happens when you do it, it will make you want to do it longer.
Shelby Clement [00:06:28]:
And so I've talked to a whole bunch of people that have, like, I have a girlfriend that literally I met in a mastermind that she literally is starting a movement of literally getting off of social media. Her entire community doesn't even. They're not on social media at all. They communicate through her community. And so, like, and everybody absolutely freaking loves it. And so you just have to find that. That space that helps with your boundaries. So, number one, get quiet.
Shelby Clement [00:06:56]:
Ask yourself why you're on it. Number two, set a boundary and make it clear. And, like, get. We're adults here. We can. We can actually follow a boundary if we are a rule that we set. And so, like, set them and follow them. And then obviously a boundary isn't forever.
Shelby Clement [00:07:10]:
So, like, if you honestly need to change your pivot or whatever that may look like for you, then do it. It just. First off, it helps with your mental health. It helps with being present in your life. If you have kids, like, they're going to see you on your phone with. They want attention, they want to talk to you. They want to be personal, they want to be human. Same thing with your husband or your wife or your friends or whatever they may look like.
Shelby Clement [00:07:28]:
Get off your damn phone. And like, seriously, like, I'm guilty of this, too. So I'm not perfect. But, like, the thing is, it's a work in progress, and you just have to set the boundaries that make sense for you in your life.
Amy [00:07:37]:
Yeah. It's really giving yourself that grace, that permission to be like, you know what? I'm going to screw up sometimes. But now I'm at least aware that I'm doing it. I'm aware of those habits and behaviors. And you're right. It's so sad when you just go out and about and, like, you're sitting at a restaurant and you look over and there's a table of people and they're all just on their phones, they're not talking.
Shelby Clement [00:07:56]:
What was the point? Why you just take out and go to bed? Like, why did you even hang out? I mean, like, right?
Amy [00:08:04]:
And our kids, they're always watching us. And if they're seeing us, just always Glued to our phones. What is that ingredient in them subconsciously? Like it's. Once you start like, like you said, getting quiet, getting away from it, you do have your eyes opened as to huh, what the heck are we doing? But it really comes down to being intentional because it can be a great tool as business owners that we can use. But I don't think it needs to be the only tool. What are your thoughts on that?
Shelby Clement [00:08:41]:
I don't necessarily think it's the only tool that you need for business owner. I mean I've got my entire business on it. I. It all goes back to the fact that like if you have healthy boundaries with it or if you can't even be on it, then hire, outsource it. I think 100% that you need to be on it. It is a free platform that you can utilize with a literally a small or zero budget if you do it yourself or if you hire someone to help you. I still think that there's other ways like email is really, really, really great to nurture your audience. I think even like networking in your local community.
Shelby Clement [00:09:09]:
I think all those things are still powerful. I still think that social media definitely takes the cake for all of it because it is free and there are these platforms are reaching people and the exact conversation we're having right now, everybody's demographic is on social media because they're addicted to social media. So what are you doing to get in front of them to tell them the value that you have with the service or product that you offer that's going to help them in the long run? Why do they like you? Why are they following you? Why are they going to use you over your competitor? There's so many things. So like I like to tell people this, like if social media is a trigger for you and you shouldn't be on it, then hire someone to do it for you. Either hire an intern where you don't have to look at it, hire an agency, hire someone full time in, in house. But if you are running a business or a brand, it is a must, a must. Someone for you is doing that as well simultaneously building your email list because that's where you actually can have more conversation and nurture a little bit more is worth through email which I do both. So like truly and podcasting, shit like podcasting is, is real good too.
Shelby Clement [00:10:08]:
So like honestly I like all three but I built my entire business off social media but also now have a team that helps me get to that point of where I can step away if I. So it just like it all goes back to what we talked about, like your boundaries, how you mentally can handle it, what you should be doing and what you should do leading up to whatever you need to be.
Amy [00:10:25]:
Yeah. And when you have that awareness, you can really stay within your zone of genius. And exactly as you said, hire out. There are people that like this, that thrive with this, that are here to help you. Heck, you run an entire agency that helps people with this. But what I love that you said just now was you still use your email list, you still take the people off of social to nurture them on a platform that you own. Because at the end of the day, you need to know that we don't own our social media platforms. And you know, I've had friends get hacked, I've had people lose their accounts.
Amy [00:11:02]:
And so that email list is your fail safe. It's the backup and you can use both. For me, I use social media to drive people to my email list so that I can nurture them and then use those analytics from my email list to then go and engage more on social media. We can be so strategic as business owners when we just put that intention behind it. I want to shift gears a little bit and get your opinion. What do you see as the future of social media as 2025 nears? Because as you said, so many of us are starting to slow down. We're going, wait a minute, what the heck am I doing? What do you see going on?
Shelby Clement [00:11:45]:
Yeah, I, for sure, I think definitely in 2025. They've already started in 2024. My whole brand is built behind it anyway. Is just like being human, being authentic, showing up exactly as you are. The filters, the facade, the highlight reels, that shit needs to go out the window. You need to show up as who you are because people crave people and they, they crave humanization. And I see in the future is like, you need to go ahead and get on that bandwagon now because they did have like a rumor going around about having to pay to get exposure on social media. They were going to make you pay and subscribe and do all these things.
Shelby Clement [00:12:18]:
And like right now it's free. So like what, what are you waiting on when it starts to cost you money and you're like, oh crap, I'm like behind the game. Why not build your brand now? Why not show us who you are? I think it's so important to build a personal brand simultaneously when you're building your business because the only way that you are different from your competitor is like, who you are, what is your mission? What are your values? What do you stand for? Where you're non negotiables, what are all these things? And like a lot of people don't want to get on and be raw. Like, if you follow me, I show up as Hobo Joe. And I also show up as like 100%. Like I can be glammed up or I can be like homeless and baggy clothes and I don't care. But I'm here to tell you about XYZ that I have to tell you about. But that's just how I am and that's what people are attracted to me for.
Shelby Clement [00:13:01]:
It depends on your personality and who you are and what you, what you do. But I truly think they're really going to hone in on 2025. These platforms are getting so saturated and you're going to get lost in the noise if you just try to mimic someone else, if you're trying to do what someone else is doing and if it's working for them, you just automatically think it's going to work for you. And that's just not the case. You're a different person. You're very unique. God made you in a very unique way. So I think that if you're willing to show up 110% as yourself now through 2025 and forever, then like, I think you're going to see that needle move a little bit more.
Shelby Clement [00:13:33]:
And that is honestly where the future is going. Because people are sick of like the perfection and they just want real.
Amy [00:13:39]:
Yeah, 1000%. Preach it, sister. I agree, I agree. Because that's what makes it stand out. That is our usp. And we forget that because it's hard. It's hard because we want to be accepted. We don't want to be judged.
Amy [00:13:55]:
But honestly, when I look at my engagement, the posts that I spend zero effort on, where it's just like a random selfie of me, those kids, so much more engagement than the ones that are like perfectly curated. And then I have somebody go into Canva and make it all templated and pretty and like you said, you know, you're just showing up as you, you're showing up as Hobo Joe some days. And like, we all can do that.
Shelby Clement [00:14:18]:
Yes, you can do it. It's hard.
Amy [00:14:20]:
It's hard at first because of that deep rooted fear of judgment, but when you realize that's actually what's going to help you stand out. Oh my gosh. That draws your people in like a magnet.
Shelby Clement [00:14:33]:
Yeah.
Amy [00:14:34]:
Now, do you have any Other advice for us as we're establishing our brands, establishing our personal brand brands on social media, how can we stand out amongst the noise in a saturated market?
Shelby Clement [00:14:45]:
Yeah, for sure you may be a little spicy, but you just need to, number one, not give a shit what people think, not care about losing followers or whatever the case may be, and truly just stand up for what you believe in and talk about what you're there to talk about. Have your content pillars that really, really, really light a fire in you and like what you want to talk about and continuously show up and talk about it. Because if you are scared to, quote unquote, get canceled or talk about something completely that is like what you think could be off limits or that could like be detrimental to you and you might lose a few followers, the honest opinion of that is you will build such a stronger community when you actually do that than you would is if you stayed scared and Tim and you fell short of the noise. Because people are going to be like, well, there's no authority building here. There's no credibility, there's no non negotiables for this person. What do they actually believe in? Am I even relatable to this human? These are all the things that you want people to like, know in their heart that they want to come to you. They're going to pick Amy, they're going to pick Shelby, they're going to pick whoever it is immediately because of xyz and like when you're building your brand, just show up as who you are. I promise you all this.
Shelby Clement [00:15:55]:
I thought I was being authentic truly to my core. When I started and until this year I started sharing my journey, I cried on the Internet. I cried on the Internet because people don't show that part. They don't show the ugly, they don't show you in the Valley, they don't show any of that aspect because they want you to think it looks perfect, Looks like they're killing it, looks like they're doing great. Well, not everybody is. And not everybody that's successful has gotten there. They have feel, they've had fear, they've had failure. But the thing is that makes them different from you or your competitor different from you is they're willing to show up raw and they're willing to say this shit is hard, this is hard.
Shelby Clement [00:16:33]:
But also like, I had a really great month, but then I had a really terrible month and I was ready to burn it down. So my advice to all of you, listening, if you're listening to this, number one, if something is placed on your heart for you to chase after. Because you are given that God given purpose 100%. Do it. But then also do it as who you are. Not as your favorite influencer, as your mentor, as a business, as your competitor, whatever that looks like. What are you feeling inside that's going to make you continuously want to do this and motivated and inspire other people and all those things and really connect with your audience? Because that's how you're going to break through the noise versus just saying so and so did this. I'm just going to try my version.
Shelby Clement [00:17:09]:
That's not real, that's not authentic. And you're just going to fall short. So I would just challenge every single one of you listening to this. Just be yourself and be unapologetically yourself about it.
Amy [00:17:18]:
Oh, so, so good. And yeah, it takes practice, but then they can see themselves in you and you're providing that belief to others that, hey, if I'm willing to show up as I am, guess what? So can you. It creates this massive ripple effect that's so far beyond any of us. Oh, Shelby, this was such great advice. And if you are listening to this episode and you want to learn more, get into Shelby's world. She has an amazing podcast, the Damn Good Marketing Podcast. You can grab one of her freebies. It's a guide to where she shares all sorts of trending audio emailed right to your inbox.
Amy [00:18:01]:
Everything will be linked up in the show notes. Get into Shelby's world. She is just so damn good at what she does. Seriously. Right? You like that. But undone, but really being intentional, Making social media work for you so you can be present in your everyday life. It is possible. Yes.
Amy [00:18:29]:
Shelby, thank you. Thank you so much for shedding light on this topic. That for a lot of us just can feel very overwhelming and draining. You showed us that. It doesn't have to be.
Shelby Clement [00:18:40]:
It doesn't have to be. Thank you so much for having me, guys. I appreciate it.
Amy [00:18:44]:
Absolutely. And until next time, cheers to making the money you want so that you can create the impact you desire.
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